Christmas cheer

Here are a few Christmas themed jokes and stories to make you chuckle. 

A Christmas Thought

STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.

Christmas in the Courtroom
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”
“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.
“That’s no offence,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”
“Before the store opened,” countered the prisoner.

Optimist vs. Pessimist
A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other were their looks. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist. 
Just to see what would happen, on Christmas day their father loaded the pessimist’s room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist’s room he loaded with horse manure. 
That night the father passed by the pessimist’s room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly. 
“Why are you crying?” the father asked. 
“Because my friends will be jealous, I’ll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I’ll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken.” answered the pessimist twin. 
Passing the optimist twin’s room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. “What are you so happy about?” he asked.
To which his optimist twin replied, “There’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”

sElf Esteem
Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.


What's the most popular wine at Christmas? 
"Do I have to eat me Brussel Sprouts?" 

Source: Online Star Register

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